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Tried of being “good”—but still feeling confused, used and bruised?
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Wondering if love keeps slipping away because of you — or something deeper you can’t name?
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What if it’s not about how good you are, but about the beliefs you’re carrying?
You’re not alone.
Most of us were taught that if we just "act right", we’ll finally be chosen.
But Indonesian women keep repeating the same mistakes when dating Western men....
This book will tell you the truths no one dares to say out loud.
Get it now before you're in too deep.
ONLY IDR 99,000 / USD 6.99
For IDR (BCA, GoPay)
Manual Payment. Confirmation within 24 hours
For USD (PayHip)
Instant download. Card, or PayPal
This isn’t a dating guide.
It’s a wake-up call.
💔 Real stories. Real men. Real field research. Real experience.
Dating a Bule isn’t the upgrade....
if you’re still stuck in old beliefs.
Learn the 3 mistakes most women make — and how to break the cycle.
The Pain We Don't Talk Enough
Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same heartbreak in different men, no matter how much you “know better”?
I explain this in Chapter 1:
“We project meaning onto gestures that mean something completely different for them. So, how can we finally see what’s real?”
Wonder why “just being nice” always backfires, leaving you confused, used, and bruised?
The answer is in my Introduction and Chapter 2:
“Us, Indonesian women, have been raised to be kind, agreeable, and polite. To never speak out loudly, let alone challenge seniority. Being too nice isn’t a virtue—it’s self-betrayal in a pretty dress. But how do we break free from it?”
Tired of “almost” relationships, but keep hoping you’re the one he’ll choose?
See Chapter 3 for the real reason:
“We all dream of a king who leads, provides, protects, and loves us fiercely. We all wanted the crown, but some of us hadn’t built the throne. And what does that really mean?”
What's Inside The Book?
Since you want to date a Bule, this book is written entirely in English—including the stories, takeaways, cultural perspective, and reflective questions.
Inside This Book, You’ll Discover:
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The 3 core mistakes that sabotage cross-cultural love, revealed in detail
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Real stories from Indonesian women (and Bule men!) you won’t find anywhere else
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Deep-dive reflection prompts and journal exercises to break your old patterns
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How your upbringing, family, and culture silently shape your dating choices
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The difference between validation and true connection
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Concrete examples of healthy boundaries, empowerment, and partnership
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Plus: Honest confessions, behind-the-scenes lessons, and my own messy truths
This book won’t give you a 10-step checklist or a ‘fix’ for love.
It will give you something better: the mirror, the questions, and the truth about why these patterns keep happening—and how to finally see yourself (and your relationships) clearly.
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Indonesian women (and their Asian friends!) tired of heartbreak, confusion, and “almost” love stories
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Anyone curious about cross-cultural dating, or who’s been let down by “fairy tale” promises
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Women ready to reflect, get honest, and finally break the cycle—no matter who they date next!
After 100+ dates, a psychology degree, and a few (okay, several) heartbreaks, I learned this the hard way:
It’s never just about the man.
It’s about the stories we’ve been told—and the ones we’re ready to rewrite.
I used to think love was about finding the right person.
Now I know — it’s about facing the stories we inherited,
ditching the ones that keep us small,
and rewriting the rest on our own terms.
Because long-term love isn’t luck.
It’s self-work done while you’re still single.
I’m not here to give you rules or play guru. I’m here to hold up a mirror so you can finally see what’s always been there:
your power.
Say “Hi!” (or share your story) on Instagram: @tanya.erisca
Hi, I'm Erisca
What is Tanya Erisca?
In Indonesian, “Tanya” means “question” or “to ask.”
So, Tanya Erisca = “Ask Erisca”—and I’ll ask you, too.
I’m on a lifelong quest to understand what makes love last—especially in today’s messy, modern world.
This space is for Indonesian and Asian women navigating relationships with Western men, without confusion or drama. Especially, coming from complicated family dynamic and social conditioning.
Here, we question, reflect, and support each other—no judgment, just real stories.
Through heartbreak, deep reflection, and honest conversations, I’ve gathered truths and patterns most people overlook.
This isn’t about giving you answers—it’s about helping you ask better questions, so you can find your own way in love and life.
Ready to break the cycle?
I’m Erisca. At your service.
✨ Ask deeper. Heal wiser. Live truer ✨
Faiz, 30, Marketing Manager, Vietnam
"It's not just about dating. It's raw and hits deep. Part memoir, cultural tea & wake-up slap. It calls out patterns we don't want to admit, the craving for validation we confuse as love, and the trap of mistaking attention for affection."
How To Pay in IDR?
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Click the button below and pay 99,000 IDR (instant, secure—accepts PayPal, Bank Transfers, OVO, and GoPay.
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After payment, send your receipt to our WhatsApp.
3. Book will be sent via email or WhatsApp (PDF, in
English).
Questions? Chat us on WhatsApp now!
F.A.Q
In case you need to know more details surrounding the book and how to get it
Is this a book in Bahasa Indonesia?
No, the full book is in English—but the language is simple and relatable. If you watch Netflix, you’ll enjoy this! But perhaps one day there will be Indonesian version.
Is this only for women dating Bule?
The stories focus on cross-cultural dating, but the lessons work for anyone who wants better boundaries, self-worth, and real love.
Is this a “how-to” guide?
No—it’s a mirror, not a manual. You’ll find stories, deep questions, and powerful truths that help you change from the inside out. It's written to raise awareness and to ask questions that matters, that only you can answer.
Can I read this book on my phone or tablet?
Yes! We do not have printed copy at the moment. The book will be delivered as a PDF, so you can read it easily on any smartphone, tablet, or computer—wherever you feel most comfortable.
Can I get a refund if I don’t like it?
We’re confident you’ll love it, but if you’re truly not satisfied, contact us within 3 days for a full refund.
How fast will I get the book after I pay?
As soon as you send your payment proof to WhatsApp or email, I’ll reply with the download link or send you the copy within 24 hours.
